Written for the Stargatefic100 Challenge
Warning: S/D kissing; Angst
Summery: The ends are needed for something new to begin.
The door slammed and he sunk against his door, sliding down with his back against the wall, like he did when he was a little boy. He shoved a hand though his hair, banging it lightly hoping to dull ache he felt all over his body.
It really should not feel like he had died once more, of that he was sure. It should not feel like his heart had been ripped out and laid on some Mayan alter. It was that deep set conviction that this was real, this was what it was and he had somehow messed it up.
Finally, as the shadows grew longer over his living room and crept down the hall, he got up, straightening his jeans, trying to pull himself mentally and physically together. He looked toward the kitchen, and then down the hall to his bedroom. He quickly moved into the kitchen; too many painful memories started flooding his head. The kitchen had always been his sanctuary; no tainted memories amongst his pots and pans.
He found himself staring at the boiling water barely registering that it was time to pour the pasta in, until it splashed on his hand. Cursing lightly he brought his hand to the sink and let the cool water flow over the slightly burned skin. As he watched the water flow over his skin, a memory, brought tears to his eyes.
She had been trying to surprise him with a dinner, and he, appreciating anything she did, had playfully told her she shouldn't need to do any cooking at all. He had taken the pot away from her and had started to pour the excess water out into the sink. The lid slipped and he had burned his hand slightly. She had rushed to his side and gently took his hand and with her feather-light touch had splashed the cold water on them.
"Oh god," he sobbed leaning down the counter, water running down his hand, arms and into his rolled up sleeves. It was not how it was to end. There was not to be an end. He knew it could never end. Yet that very afternoon, it had.
A quick, 'I can't do this, I think I have found someone else', the heart shattering silence as she said sorry softly, touched his hand, slid the box back and hurried off. For a long time he watched as the swish of her skirt disappeared down the row of tables, out the door and down the street toward her car.
There was no way he could do anything to get her back he felt as she disappeared. She had suddenly found in herself that she did not love him the way he loved her. That was the message he took with him as he, head low and heavy feet walked back to his own car and drove home. A home which earlier that week they had made plans on making theirs.
And in an instant Sam had shattered Daniel's dreams and hopes, a single swish of her dress, caress of her silky smooth hand, and a shy, apologetic smile, was all it took.
The next day he demanded that Jack let him transfer to the one place he was sure he could loose himself in: Atlantis. Four months later he got a message saying Sam had accepted Pete's proposal and had wondered if he would be in her wedding. Daniel had sent one line back.
A week later he once more found a letter from Jack waiting for him. Sam had broken off the engagement and had been asked to be transferred from the SGC. Jack had said he granted it only so he never had to see the hurt in her eyes every time she looked at the gate.
A year later Daniel found himself back on Earth, looking at Sam who was driving him to Colorado from Area 51. She had curled her hair, done more make-up and seemed to always want to say something. As she drove, Daniel unconsciously rubbed the tiny scar where he had burned himself. A silence filled the air that suffocated them until Sam pulled over and Daniel stopped all conversation starters by kissing her. Fierce and passionate, slow and demanding, confused and in control.
Their relationship had ended once a long time ago, but as they drove on, fingers laced and heads resting on shoulders, tears shed for the unused time, Daniel wondered once more if the ends weren't needed so a new, a more powerful and colorful love could begin.